Tall I stood in the chicken coop.

Tall I stood in the chicken coop
The birds around my feet
And terror reigned as I did stoop
To catch me one to eat.
In a tiny hut ten helpless things
And each one looked for cover
They squawked and screamed and flapped their wings
And banged into each other.
I darted quickly left and right
Grabbed and slipped and missed
Like a warrior in a gallant fight
A hatchet in my fist.
“Oh wad some pe’er the giftie gi’e us”
Went running through my head
“Tae see eersel’s as others see us”
As a great man once had said. *
And a terrible wave of shame I felt
As the chickens grew still and quiet
T’was just like they could sense my guilt
And dared me to deny it.
I was here in a monstrous farce
In that silent atmosphere
Where the throb of eleven frightened hearts
Was all that I could hear.
I sat down in the chicken feed
Cut off from life’s distractions
I thought of the cow’rdice of my deed.
And fought till I made my conscience bleed
To justify my actions.
But after an age of introspection
The truth came in good season
We’re all made one in God’s reflection
To hell with human reason.
This I resolved with an iron will
And declared it to my wife
“Man was born to love, not kill”
“I refuse to take a life”
To my surprise my wife concurred
To kill indeed was drastic
But I caught an air about her word
That seemed a mite sarcastic.
“Perhaps we’ll start a resting home”
She then goes on and says
“Where all the ageing hens can come”
“To pass their twilight days”.
“Enough!” I cried. “No further need”
“The question to belabour”
“But I myself won’t do the deed”
“Frae this wan blunder I’ll be freed”
“I’ll take it to a neighbour”.
Chagrined I walked to a neighb’ring farm
My footsteps were like lead
My feathered friend was in my arm
Her heart abeating, her body warm
But soon she would be dead.
My neighbour listened full of grace
I never felt derided;
He thought it an unusual case
And a smile was on his kindly face
As my problem I confided.
He took the chicken from my hand
And began to stretch its neck
When all at once I could hardly stand
For we were at sea and not on land
And the floor heaved like a deck.
A hellish thunder split the sky
And a shadow fell across
The hapless bird that was to die!
And behold it was an albatross!
And a curse was in its eye!
With three times my own bodyweight
I descended on the man
The din was great, my friend irate
But I saved us from a ghastly fate
And with the bird I ran
Back to my wife who without a word
(Nor ever about this since referred)
But tolerance and a loving look
She killed and plucked and cleaned the bird
And put it on to cook.
But I prided me no mortal cow’rd
To kill a helpless thing
And my appetite was nary soured
That dinner time as I devoured
Some breast, a leg, and a wing.

.Victor Herman